Permission To Be More Human
Welcome to another edition of the Transformation Leadership Newsletter
I took my time with this one. It was harder to write than the strategy and transformation pieces that are easier for me. I couldn’t ignore the deeper call: people are tired, burnt out, good but wanting more, lost without a compass, bracing for impact for so long that it feels normal.
Sunday afternoons at the park, everyone looks fine. A dad paces behind a pram, jaw tight. Two teens joke too hard. A woman on a blanket smiles at her phone without her eyes moving. Ordinary scenes. Heavy air. The week ended, but nothing was put down. We carried it with us.
We were taught to fit in. Be the version that blends. From far away, fitting in looks like belonging. Up close, it’s the opposite. Belonging says, “Bring all of you.” Fitting in says, “Bring the bit that won’t cause a scene.” At dinner, it becomes quiet. With friends, it’s jokes around the point. With ourselves, it’s “I’m fine” in a voice that isn’t.
We also arrive with bags we never open, and we pack new ones daily. The comment you pretended was nothing. The message you re-read and didn’t answer. The promise to yourself you let slide. We stack it, call it functioning, and wonder why patience evaporates and joy feels like it has to fight for air.
Here is what I believe: the sum of your emotions is your impact ceiling. Not just at work. Everywhere. You don’t rise above what you refuse to feel; you leak it. Anger turns into edge. Resentment into distance. Shame into performance. We say we’re “serious” because life is heavy, but often the seriousness is just un-felt feelings piling up.
So we wear masks ... competent, easygoing, strong. They’re useful. They’re costly. Masks keep judgment out and keep us from being known. Raw isn’t chaos; raw is clean. It’s the sentence you were about to swallow, spoken softly and on time. The tear that makes the laugh honest. The truth told before it hardens into blame. Raw isn’t perfect. Raw is permission.
Over time, when I coach people, I often see the invisible baggage they’re carrying and how the weight shapes their days. Many reach for the “tip,” the workaround, the blunt “So what do I do here?” One of my quiet superpowers is reading people ... not to judge, but to see the light in them and what’s dimming it. This is everything. Forget certification or fancy education; your raw self got buried under years of normalising what isn’t right or fair or even the space to express. You get so far from yourself that the most challenging questions go unanswered: Who are you? What do you want? Not asking for your job title. Or you want an extra hundred grand. I am referring to the deeper, soul-level answer.
Inside First
The outside is loud .. money, deadlines, weather, other people’s moods. They do impact your state. But the outside is scaffolding, not the structure. The structure is inside. And the good news about looking inside is this: you can actually do something there. You can feel your shoulders inch toward your ears and let them drop. You can choose a kinder story about yourself. You can let your face remember how to smile, not because nothing is wrong, but because you deserve to feel good and you’re allowed to feel good. Change doesn’t wait for perfect circumstances; it grows from small, quiet decisions you make in here.
This isn’t a call to overshare. It’s a reminder that your life already registers surface and depth and responds accordingly. The friend who always hears “can’t this week” stops asking. The child who meets your distracted “uh-huh” saves their best story for someone else. The partner who never sees your guard down stops offering theirs. Not because you’re bad ... because you’re protected. Protection, left alone, becomes absence.
If you feel the simmering pots of anger without a name, resentments on schedule, looping frustrations ... that’s a signal, not a flaw. You don’t need another method. You need permission. Permission to be the unsanded version of you in at least one room of your life. To belong to yourself before you blend with anyone else.
When you do, presence gets lighter. Jokes get funnier. Rest actually rests. Love lands. You don’t become less serious; you become more real. And reality, unmasked, is generous. It returns the energy you were spending on performance. It raises your ceiling because it stops being built from unspoken weight.
Give yourself that permission. Not as a project. As a quiet decision.
Let the room meet you.
News, Insights, Updates
AI OS Tools Launched
Launched AI Accelerator tools for TLI members, built to help you accelerate real results.
Four OS hubs are planned:
LeadershipOS: decision clarity, presence, and influence for humans leading change.
CareerOS: navigation tools for thriving change/strategy/transformation careers.
PracticeOS: practical tools to design and deliver impact.
PerformanceOS: systems for focus, cadence, and momentum.
Now live, CareerOS:
Proprietary CV Wizard AI Tool designed for change, transformation, project, program, and strategy roles; reviews your CV and suggests detailed, role-specific improvements.
LinkedIn Profile Optimiser AI Tool, which runs a complete analysis of your profile, recommends improvements, and can produce a full, refreshed rewrite
More AI tools to add
In Progress – PerformanceOS:
OnTrack Guide AI Tool is ****created to analyze ****your transformation or change program through a real conversation, surfaces what’s working/not working, and co-creates a clear action plan.
Intentional Focus AI Tool helps you focus your work and energy on what matters most for your role, program, and context.
More AI tools to add
In Progress – PracticeOS:
Workshop Designer AI Tool helps you design an impactful workshop that amplifies your influence: from the initial idea and comms, to detailed workshop design, to live facilitation support, and the after-action follow-through.
More AI tools to add
LeadershipOS (coming):
A tight suit to strengthen your inner stance, harden your decisions without hardening your heart, and lead change without losing yourself.
Community update:
Black Friday offer concluded with 73 entries; 3 selected for the one-time discounted offer, and two spots to be finalised.
Most-chosen tracks: Elevate membership and private mentoring (often taken together for maximum benefit).
Thank you to everyone who submitted interest.
This month inside TLI:
Members get a 3-hour Innovation Deep Dive Workshop packed with case studies and the real ways innovation dovetails with transformation.
TLI welcomed seven new members
Did you know we have a
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Thanks for your time. Till next time,
Jess Tayel
Founder of the Transformation Leadership Institute and People of Transformation membership & community.
Enable organisations to become future-fit through their Transformations & Change efforts.
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